The Roman philosopher Seneca did not have the modern health system in mind when he wrote Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness. But nevertheless his aphorism could be the motto of a new movement seeking to transform the culture of health care.
The Gathering of Kindness (GOK) was created in 2015 by Mary Freer and Dr Catherine Crock AM. It aims to address bullying and negativity within the health workforce by building, nurturing and instilling a culture of kindness throughout the healthcare system (see previous Croakey articles by Lea McInerney – here and here).
Last year’s event brought together people from inside and outside the healthcare sector – actors, clinicians, patients, families, artists, musicians and innovators – to imagine a healthcare system where kindness, trust and respect are the fundamental components.
Planning for Gathering of Kindness 2018 is underway with a growing appetite for this positive approach to better relationships in healthcare and beyond. This year will have rolling events and pop ups across Australia and internationally to build awareness and support action for a kind culture. The organisers would like to encourage as many people as possible to get involved (see the links below).
This poem by Michelle Phillips was written to end the Gathering of Kindness week 2017 and expresses the energy, hope and commitment generated by this transformative event.
Michelle Phillips writes:
What Matters?
in life, in health
in death, in wealth?
the breadth of our experiences
is tremendous
and we do well to remember
this answer
will be different
for everyone
What matters to you?
A patient, or parent
a doctor, or nurse
the staff who are cleaning
or those writing the notes
an intern in ward on their very first shift
the gift of a new life
being held in tired arms
the passing of an old life
maybe still with tired arms
What matters to each?
Oh how can you tell?
Well, you start by just asking
we’re so varied
in all of our tales
– and also in our heads –
so finding what matters
can’t be rushed
it
takes
time
instead
The week of the Gathering of Kindness rolled round
and even the incredible Dr Crock
abounding in energy
couldn’t be at all events
there were so many
I checked the schedule
there were things on at the same hour
Nobody has lent her a time-turner
or machine
as far as I know
– which
given she’s my Mum
is pretty far –
but never fear
I’m sure next year she’ll have sorted that out
So let this be a summary
of all that went on
messages of kindness in speech and in plays
in dance and in song
you will be amazed
to hear the full scope
of the hopefulness that was shared
We crossed boundaries
of the state
in cities
in hearts
sharing stories at Monash, Clayton, VCCC,
welcoming each other at Dandenong and Sale
we heard from great speakers
all through this week
and
I collected some words
that connected with me
so consider
the next verse the intellectual property
of Lorraine, David, Di, Nathan, Katie, Belinda, Richard, Rachel, Craig, and Michael times two
all jumbled together
You have to discover
how you do kindness best
the test
will be the impact
on those with whom
you demonstrate kindness
in fact
that’s the fruit of your kindness
it’s not blackberries
and apples
it’s fruit that actually grows
our own hearts
and our own worlds
so that they get big
Maybe kindness is a fig?
We are not big fish
in a small pond
we are not even
small fish in a big pond
Sometimes
we are small fish in a big fish
Maybe a barramundi?
We’re humans
not robots
and if you need proof
you can see it in Sidewalk Tango
I’m pretty confident robots can’t dance like that
– at least not yet –
and that was definitely my grandmother
up on the stage
The play is launched
in Wangarratta
What Matters?
Kindness and listening
cheerful cleaners
the meanest of doctors has a change of heart
it’s a start
Comedy in the shared experience
of ridiculous scenarios without care’s appearance
ridiculous
but true
for this play is told
unfolds
through the eyes
and the wise stories
of those who actually lived these moments
Thank you to Alan Hopgood and team
for making the hard things
seem
a little bit funnier
More than just a play is launched
two books took looks
– hopefully
onto your shelf! –
Lucy Mayes planned an exposé
that
day by day
piece by piece
eight years in the making!
became a message of hope
heart and healing
Beyond the Stethoscope
Taking us through
all sorts of feelings
The Gathering of Kindness Anthology
tells stories from the first event
capturing voices
in articles sent in
People were hopeful
happy and sad
some jaded or tired
but mostly, they were glad.
Glad
that these conversations
could be had
And here’s the key!
It is infinitely worthwhile
to be talking together
whether or not
we knew each other before
“All talk and no action”
“Talk is cheap”
Phrases thrown about like we should keep quiet
We need this talk
to feed our brains
arrange our thoughts
and importantly
to grow our skills in changing minds
particularly around a misunderstood word
like kindness
We need to practice how to talk
and we get better
each time
Do you think Slava and Len
when
they went on stage with their guitars
did so blind?
untrained?
without practising?
Having heard them perform
the idea is laughable
ten thousand hours
and more
went into that applause
So too do we
need hours of practice
if we are to become experts
on kindness
A favourite topic of mine
was being kind
by breaking rules
Those fools!
so busy admiring their top hat
that
they can’t see their own feet
doing the legwork
down on the street
needing,
shoes.
Sometimes
you need to put your feet on the table
to be noticed
Kindness in healthcare
should not be hard to find
yet in amongst the daily grind
we wind up tight
and lose sight
of the difference between a right
and just
‘right’
The folly of policy
that says
“Don’t touch
don’t help
and definitely don’t hug
don’t friend or care or lend
don’t drive
– the patient’s survival is what matters –
only treat”
which is a mean feat
when you take away the kind
We’ve spent a week speaking on kindness
talking about the things that matter
before we all scatter
there’s one last thing to say:
Celebrate kind acts
not kind people
give everyone a chance to join the fray
this way
it’s not a kindness monologue
it’s a kindness conversation
we don’t talk to
we talk with
So talk with everyone
That’s what matters.
To find out more and get involved
To purchase the Gathering Of Kindness Anthology
https://pozible.com/project/gathering-of-kindness-anthology
GOK 2017 summary video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yB0exGznbw&feature=youtu.be
